You might have noticed I haven't blogged anything about my visa lark for about a month, well it's time to admit I'd stressed and not coping too well with it all. What topped it off today was the same woman laughing in my face for not having my interview date, it took huge effort to just not burst into tears on the shop floor.
I had a somewhat stupid idea that after having my medical everything would fal into place really quick, that I'd be having my interview around about now and moving in a month or so. Yeah right. It's this utter wall of silence from the embassy that i really can't deal with, you hear nothing, not one little word and you hear of people going through the whole process four times the speed your going through, it's just like how?! What are the secrets? Apart from angry phone calls to the embassy which while i'm tempted apparently is a very costly business [something over a pound a minute]. And everyone moans about how immigration is meant to be easy?
I had a somewhat stupid idea that after having my medical everything would fal into place really quick, that I'd be having my interview around about now and moving in a month or so. Yeah right. It's this utter wall of silence from the embassy that i really can't deal with, you hear nothing, not one little word and you hear of people going through the whole process four times the speed your going through, it's just like how?! What are the secrets? Apart from angry phone calls to the embassy which while i'm tempted apparently is a very costly business [something over a pound a minute]. And everyone moans about how immigration is meant to be easy?
This somewhat delays most probably ruling out the wedding till December if not till next year. So much for the November the 10th and Chicago as the honeymoon. Everything seems to be failing. To say I'm not stressed may be somewhat of an understatement and over coming the urge for tears isn't fun. Especially at work. But that's what you get for trying to sort out a wedding before you have a visa. Now it just feels like they are trying to push us apart, i'm scared i'll never see my boy again.
What makes everything so much harder is how much I miss Joe, i'm sick of pretending to people outside of me and Joe that i'm strong and that not seeing him doesn't bother me, because in reality I hate it. I don't rant and i don't rave about our relationship because i'm not that kind of person. I actually hate it when people go on and on about their private lives, so to to other people i'm very quiet about what's occurring. But this silence is associated with a strength and a toughness that being apart doesn't bother me. I utterly hate being apart. Hate, hate, hate. It's all so incredibly hard not being with him at the moment, I know there's people in far harder and greater, and more distant relationships out there and I sound like i'm whining and moaning. I am grateful and thankful for having such an amazing guy, a guy that actually wants to make this work. It's just hard being without him physically and being able to touch him and see him when I wake up.
Guess need to pull myself together and plaster on a smile yet I know tomorrow at work I'll get the same daily question from the woman who laughed, and I just know she'll laugh at me all over again.
Picture taken from weheartit.com