You might have noticed I haven't blogged anything about my visa lark for about a month, well it's time to admit I'd stressed and not coping too well with it all. What topped it off today was the same woman laughing in my face for not having my interview date, it took huge effort to just not burst into tears on the shop floor.
I had a somewhat stupid idea that after having my medical everything would fal into place really quick, that I'd be having my interview around about now and moving in a month or so. Yeah right. It's this utter wall of silence from the embassy that i really can't deal with, you hear nothing, not one little word and you hear of people going through the whole process four times the speed your going through, it's just like how?! What are the secrets? Apart from angry phone calls to the embassy which while i'm tempted apparently is a very costly business [something over a pound a minute]. And everyone moans about how immigration is meant to be easy?
I had a somewhat stupid idea that after having my medical everything would fal into place really quick, that I'd be having my interview around about now and moving in a month or so. Yeah right. It's this utter wall of silence from the embassy that i really can't deal with, you hear nothing, not one little word and you hear of people going through the whole process four times the speed your going through, it's just like how?! What are the secrets? Apart from angry phone calls to the embassy which while i'm tempted apparently is a very costly business [something over a pound a minute]. And everyone moans about how immigration is meant to be easy?
This somewhat delays most probably ruling out the wedding till December if not till next year. So much for the November the 10th and Chicago as the honeymoon. Everything seems to be failing. To say I'm not stressed may be somewhat of an understatement and over coming the urge for tears isn't fun. Especially at work. But that's what you get for trying to sort out a wedding before you have a visa. Now it just feels like they are trying to push us apart, i'm scared i'll never see my boy again.
What makes everything so much harder is how much I miss Joe, i'm sick of pretending to people outside of me and Joe that i'm strong and that not seeing him doesn't bother me, because in reality I hate it. I don't rant and i don't rave about our relationship because i'm not that kind of person. I actually hate it when people go on and on about their private lives, so to to other people i'm very quiet about what's occurring. But this silence is associated with a strength and a toughness that being apart doesn't bother me. I utterly hate being apart. Hate, hate, hate. It's all so incredibly hard not being with him at the moment, I know there's people in far harder and greater, and more distant relationships out there and I sound like i'm whining and moaning. I am grateful and thankful for having such an amazing guy, a guy that actually wants to make this work. It's just hard being without him physically and being able to touch him and see him when I wake up.
Guess need to pull myself together and plaster on a smile yet I know tomorrow at work I'll get the same daily question from the woman who laughed, and I just know she'll laugh at me all over again.
Picture taken from weheartit.com
Oh sweetheart, this nearly made me cry! Please try not to let others bring you down, one day she'll find real love like you have and understand the pain you must be feeling.
ReplyDeleteOne day soon you'll wake up in bed with your man, and you'll be his Mrs, and all of this will be worth it! xXx
I'm sorry :(
ReplyDeletesending you hugs, hope you hear something soon xxx
Sounds like you are having a pretty rubbish time with it all at the minute! I know its easy for me to sit here as an outsider and say that it will all fall in to place and be worth it eventually! But it will all happen. Plans never work out how you imagine it to!
ReplyDeleteTry and keep strong and remember, its ok to cry!! xx
It sounds like a bloody nightmare. I bet you feel so helpless that there's no way to speed it all up. All I can say is try to keep your eyes on the prize and your chin up :) x
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry to hear you're having such a tough time, but trust me, it will all magically somehow fall into place in the last minute!
ReplyDelete(hugs) I am sorry that you're down and that things aren't working themselves out as expected. I am also sorry to hear that there are awful people who have no tact or sense of empathy. All I can say is hang on, and it's ok to be mopey and sad every once in a while. In the meantime, go out, have yourself a treat (drink or pastry) and enjoy your day!
ReplyDelete♥ laura
the blog of worldly delights
Cheers guys, just gets to hard to be positive about it and i'm just getting drained which is probably as much a reason as not having time off since March and i'm just burning out.
ReplyDeleteI think because we had ideas of doing stuff by now in America that's making it worse, I mean we've already had to push our original road trip back, the wedding won't be when we originally wanted it and now i'm even starting to think I won't be there for Christmas.
I know its not anyone's fault, it's just how the visa thing is. Just kicks you in the ribs when your either up against people that don't care or laugh at you.
But thank you so much for all the best wishes, it means a lot to us both xx
Keep your chin up - its maddening to be waiting without knowing isn't it. We're so used to phoning and being able to chase up information we're waiting for - you are sort of their customer after all, and yet you can't. Though it usually works out that you get the good news just when you've reached the end of your tether. x
ReplyDeleteBig hugs hun, sounds so very stressful and Im so sorry that its all being so hard. People at work can be mean, and hopefully you will be able to laugh back in the face of that woman once your interview comes through and everything gets back on track. Scarlett x
ReplyDeleteThank you, I hope so too Scarlett x
ReplyDeleteWhen I read that she laughed at you I actually could feel myself getting so angry. That is absolutely disgusting behaviour. It just shows your strenght that you didn't cry because in all honesty I'd have been in floods. I'm so sorry that you have to deal with people like that. & I'm sorry that you haven't heard back from the embassy but hopefully they'll get in touch soon. Sorry that you're stressed :( I'm sending you positive thoughts and hugs xx
ReplyDeleteThank you Hazzelnut, I think it really was because I was working in another more in public department at work so I couldn't just cry and/or leave. Thing is I just know she's going to ask tomorrow, and Thursday and on Friday and there's just nothing I can do [apart from totally going off on one] to stop her from asking. You wouldn't think she was in her 40s. lol
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry it's getting you down chick. I'm sure you'll have happier news soon though and keep focussed on why you're doing the whole thing - cos you and Joe will be together in the end. I know right now that a month or two longer seems like an eternity but when you're living over there and married, it will seem like no time at all. And keep thinking how good it'll feel when you can tell that woman that you've got your visa and wipe the smug look off her face :) x
ReplyDeleteBless you this is heartbreaking. Its crazy that two citizens from respectable countries could put up so much red tape! I cant imagine how your feeling at the moment but at least the process is in motion and your being active about it.
ReplyDeleteIn the future when you have babies im sure you can tell them a story of how much you two loved each other nothing ever stoppped you both :)
Hold on in there :)
Liz
http://aspirationsofglam.blogspot.com/
xxx
hope things pick up for you girly, your writing is beautiful!
ReplyDeletepepperandchips.blogspot.com
This is absolutely heartbreaking.. I know it's tough, but try to keep your mind and body busy. let the time pass by fast so it won't hurt as much. I can't even imagine what it would be like to be forced apart from my other half. If he's your soulmate (which it sounds like he is!), it WILL work out everything will be worth it. It will only show exactly HOW strong your love is for each other. Try to stay positive, love! <3
ReplyDeleteP.S Your writing is absolutely beautiful~
this is so sad, i hope you get it sorted and you can be together!
ReplyDeleteawwwww this sucks! that lady is horrible for laughing at you! i know how you feel, it'll get better soon <3
ReplyDeletestay strong girl!
xo zebra and meerkat
I'm sorry hun :( It sounds like such a frustrating process, not knowing what's happening and hearing nothing from them! I've done long distance before and it's really not fun at all. *hugs* Hope you get some news soon! xx
ReplyDeleteAww thank you all for your real sweet words, luckily she never asked today she was too busy going on and on about her ex husband so that took the pressure off me. Luckily!
ReplyDeleteso, first, I know exactly how you feel being apart from your guy. My bf and I have been together and apart, together and apart so many time through out our relationship because of moving, work, or whatever. I keep thinking each time it will get easier but bottom line: IT SUCKS. Especially when its for so long. Second, the US, will always be here waiting for you. Hang in there, I'm sure this is just a mess of stress, especially because it sounds like your kind of in the dark just waiting for someone to tell you what's going on. Its the story of immigration ten times over! I'm sending positive thoughts and energy your way from Hawaii :)
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for your comment Aqui, LDRs do suck at times don't they! I always think the goodbyes should get easier the more you do them but I always think they get worse, the last time was awful. I hate having to turn around and walk away. xx
ReplyDeleteI hope you feel better soon! I know how hard it is to feel stressed.
ReplyDeleteAwwh hunni, long distance relationships are so hard. :( I know how you feel, but don't worry, I'm sure everything will work itself out eventually.
ReplyDeleteIn the meantime, keeps smiling & blogging, it helps to vent how your feeling & you'll always have people to support you on here. xxxxx
I am sorry to hear about how of the difficult things facing you right now. Remember to take good care of yourself because stress can really be difficult not only mentally and emotionally but also physically.
ReplyDeleteI don't understand why that lady had to be so unthoughtful and considerate of others. People can really be self-centered sometimes.
I sincerely hope that you get good news soon and that things work out wonderfully for you.