I've been meaning to post this for a while but I've always been interested in hear other couples experiences of being in an undertaking long distance relationships after being in one myself. Jo, who blogs over at Life in a Wendy House did a fabulous write up of her own experiences which I'm sharing with you today and I'm sure it will be of particular interest to those of you who are, or are about to undertake a university based LDR.
Hi, I’m Jo and I’m in a long distance relationship.
They say admitting you have a problem is the first step to solving it, but this isn’t a problem.
When my dad asked if me and my boyfriend, of then two years, were going to stay together when I moved down South for Uni and he studied at home, my response was “Of course, why wouldn’t we?”. He raised his eyebrows, obviously expecting us to split up and forget one another in our fresher’s haze, but it didn’t happen. We’re now 2 years into our LDR and still together. Why? Because we make it work despite what everybody else’s preconceptions are.
There are nearly 200 miles between us, it’s a 3 and a half hour train journey, and because we both have university commitments I see him normally around once every ten week term. I’m not going to say it’s a walk in the park, because there are difficult times. I get annoyed when I want to ring him but he’s busy, he gets annoyed when I go out and forget to text him when I get home, but they’re problems that are easily solvable. In fact, I think it’s a lot less difficult to have an argument when your miles apart from each other because you instantly just want to forget about it and make up rather than continue a long, pointless argument via phone or text.
It’s all about making time for one another and making sure that the time you do manage to spend together is the very best it can be. After those ten weeks have passed I know I’ll have a month at home when I can spend time with him and do the things we both miss when we’re apart, and that’s what I try and remember when I’m crying over how much I want to go home and how much I need a hug.
We make the effort to talk every day. We text daily, updating each other on the little things in life and speak on the phone or skype occasionally when we have more time to spare, but just because we’re not in contact 24/7 or seeing each other every day doesn’t mean our relationship is a failure, far from it. I honestly believe that moving away from each other has improved us as a couple; the space an LDR offers gives you a chance to reflect on all the good and bad within your relationship and work with that knowledge to improve your relationship and yourself when you’re apart, so that when you are together it’s almost perfection.
I have one more year apart from him and then who knows what will happen. I can’t predict the future but what I do hope is that we’ll still be together even then. After almost 5 years together it’s difficult to see your relationship going in any other direction than together and I’d really like to have the happy ending that many others achieve despite the miles.
So, I’m Jo. And I’m proof that a long distance relationship can work.
If you're in a long distance relationship and want to share your story, get in touch!
I think long distance relationships are amazing and so worth working at. There are actually a lot of things about them that win over living near by: the excitement and romance of seeing each other, fun of visiting new places, recieving emails, calls and texts. Sure there are sucky bits, but they make you appreciate each other when you do see each other, and if you can last out the bad stuff the futures bright :)
ReplyDeleteI love that map photo as well xxx
I couldn't agree more! If the persons worth it, the sucky bits are manageable.
DeleteThis is a great post, thanks for sharing. I admire people who have LDRs. I think that with technology nowadays it can be a lot easier too xx
ReplyDeleteTechnology certainly does help, without MSN/internet and skype it would have made my own experience a lot harder.
DeleteI clicked on this thinking ah I'll get someone else's perspective on it haha and then realised it's me! haha (: Thank you for including this on your blog Rachael! (: xx
ReplyDeleteYour welcome, sorry it's taken forever to get around to posting it!
DeleteAw this is so touching! It's nice to hear people's personal experiences =)
ReplyDeletexx
Its always good to hear for me, how another couple makes a long distance work.
DeleteI've been in an LDR for two years at university, and it sucks but it gives me time to focus on my studies and spend time with my friends! It makes weekends or time spent together much more special. And now we've finished for the summer, we pretty much have 3/4 months of catch up time. It's taught me to be more independent, and I feel we're in a more 'adult' and mature relationship than some of my friends who met boyfriends through uni. He's my best friend, and I wouldn't let the odd hundred miles ruin the fab 3 and a half years we've had so far! x
ReplyDeleteLDR's are hard work, but ultimately distance is only a reason to separate if you let it. There are down sides to enjoying being apart- I sometimes wonder if my partner and I may actually kill each other if we ever end up being a bit closer together.
ReplyDeleteAlso, Rachael, I'd be happy to write something if it's of interest.
Hi Rachael! It was nice to meet you today at #USBloggerChat! I'm new to your blog I came into your New? Start Here Tab (great idea, BTW!) and this is the first thing I saw, which really resonated with me!
ReplyDeleteI live in New York City, but my boyfriend is working towards his PhD in Indiana, Pennsylvania in the summers, which is 6-8 hours away by plane and bus). You seem to be a girl who's very happy by herself, as I am! I think LDRs are ideal because they let you focus on real emotional connections, rather than physicals ones, and they also let you be yourself and find yourself, rather than expecting most, of all, of your happiness to come from a partner!
Our parents grew up in a different times, when you had to hand-write someone a letter and get yourself to the post office to get in touch with them. Nowadays is so easy to send someone a "good morning" message through your text. A lot of older people will think LDRs are doomed to fail, but we know better, and we use every single outlet we can to stay in touch with our special men.
I really do think LDRs are fantastic, for the right people, and I'm happy to have met a girl who's just as cool and independent as me! :)