We may have ink, but we're still beautiful

I briefly mentioned this in passing on Sunday about work colleagues having issues with tattoos. Sometimes I think they forget I have ink - we have uniforms and mine are on my back so they are always (sadly in my view) covered up. Although in the right light you can see them through the material. And I'm possibly not the stereotypical girl that looks like she might have tattoos. 

But back to the tale ... One lady had been at a wedding the weekend before, I wasn't playing much attention until I heard her comments of "she had tattoos all over her back, you could see them all with that dress, it was awful". I'm probably over thinking it but being a girl who's inked and has a wedding dress that shows her tattoos I was slightly offended. I've often heard of girls wanting to cover up their tattoos when they get married with creams and so on - its like they regret having them or they are too concerned about what everyone else thinks of their ink.

I know these comments shouldn't bother me, but they do.

Time and time again I always wonder what is so wrong about people having tattoos? I agree they can be offensive if the show or have offence meanings, or the extreme sides of tattooing to the mass could be off putting. But for the rest, the sleeves, the hands, the feet, the backs? They aren't hurting anyone, they are merely self expressions. I stumbled over an article on the Daily Mail website about a lady who was refused a cleaning job in a supermarket because she had a tattoo on her hand (think Cheryl Cole in style). I'm not really sure how a small tattoo like that effects the manor in which she could work.

If I could i'd love to get tattoos on my arms, at least on the inside of my forearms, maybe even at the top but I feel I can't because of how society still judges tattoos. I need to get on the career ladder and do something with my degrees but I have no idea how tattoos and research and careers are all viewed. Maybe its different in America, maybe they are more open minded?

Sometimes having a rant about it gets it all out of the system.

All images from weheartit

MUSIC: Trivium

Nearly two years into blogging and i've never once written about music - which is odd seeing music once was and still is if somewhat decreased massive part of my life. I thought maybe I should do random posts about bands I love or got me into certain types of music styles even if its just a way of making myself remember what I was loving once and/or still do. First up I guess is Trivium - yes I like metal which many find shocking.  I'm not really sure why. Maybe because perhaps I don't stereotypically dress like I like metal. Who knows.

Its easiest to define Trivum as merely "metal" but they can be considered anything from hardcore to trash depending on which album your listening to and how firm you believe the boundaries between genres should be. What is more set in stone is them being American, and on the verge of releasing their 5th album In Waves on August 8th. I first came across Trivium via getting into Avenged Sevenfold, reading Metal Hammer and listening to Kerrang radio, it was when their 2005 single Dying in Your Arms from the Ascendancy album even got a play on day time Radio 1 - well the edited version at least. I heard a song, thought they were good, brought the album and that was that. Six years down the line I can still play that album and be nowhere bored. Plus they have some incredible ink between them.

Seeing them in April 2007 was the best gig i've ever been too - it was fixed with problems of support bands guitar strings breaking numerous times and interference through the local radio coming through the speakers between song. That and being in Newcastle City Hall - a venue with fixed seats - very interesting for metal bands and mosh pits. Yet the rapour between Matt Heafy (lead guitar/vocals) was amazing, you can generally tell when a band wants to be playing (for the reverse see uninterested singers in indie bands like Razorlight) through their crowd interaction and full on smiles.This still continues through their updates on Facebook - they keep that personal going, you can somehow see that they care about their fans.

To like a band like Trivium you have to be open to changing styles - they are still young guys (well my age) pushing and playing with the boundaries of music. Often they've fallen to criticism but i'd rather love a band that was trying new things then getting lost in a musical rut. I would love to see them again and hopefully this time i'll get to take Joe and it'll be in a huge venue with proper pits going. Until then I can't wait for their new album and if you fancy hearing them their new song is below:

Images taken from Trivium's facebook albums and In Waves from YouTube.

Gah, I want that tattoo

 I hope your all having a lovely weekend, I spent today shopping - i've totally fallen in love with Zara. I'll admitt its taken me years to even step inside that shop, but i'm so pleased I did. I have a new favourite. But the main part of the day as been spent daydreaming about more ink. 

Tattoos are a part of me that always hides in the back of my mind. I wish i'd of got more done when I was up in Newcastle at university and had a smashing tattooists up there. I don't know why I didn't. Sometimes I just have days dreaming up ideas, patterns, places to get them done. Then I remember I need to save money for moving, and a wedding, and a honeymoon and bus tickets.

The above love bird image is one I found on one of them endless google image searches. I love the tones of the blues and the wispy grey shading which adds to the sense of flight in the design. I've been debating the idea of getting a love bird for a while, going back and forth over the idea of the retro punky vivid colour look. 

I think i'll have a pair flying towards each other across the bottom of my back (beware tramp stamp territory) with something linking them between. My backs a work in progress, so are my designs. But the daydreams keep me happy at work and I love being the gal people always think would never have tattoos.

I love surprising people like that. 

Distelfink ink

I've been working out the ideas for my next tattoo. Not that I can afford to get it for a while, but I love the designing process as much as I love getting a tattoo done. I think with any tattoo thought and care should always be made when debating what tattoo you want to get, and ultimately why. 

The tattoo I'm next getting is to sit on my right shoulder, it's intended to "balance" me out slightly after getting my last tattoo, the dragonfly over a year and a half ago. The idea that's being tossed around at the moment is a love bird. There are so many gorgeous love bird ideas [ I say love bird loosely - basically mean any bird really] that people already have, often in the sailor style, kinda flashy but gorgeously bright and vivid in colour. 

The idea I'm after is based upon the Pennsylvania [PA] Distelfink - a base of Dutch folk art. Originally intended and designed for use in the 1850s on barns, since the 1940s more colourful, animal versions have developed predominantly for the tourist market. 

The Pennsylvania Distelfink birdie

The above is the basic design i'm going to be working from. But hopefully the finished tattoo with be a LOT different. I'm hoping to droop the flower lower and have a second flower coming in from the right hand side to frame the bird in a love heart. One of the flowers colouring will be the pinks of the PA state flower - the Laurel and the second being a white Yorkshire rose. The colours of the birdie are still up in the air, the images they tend to be based around yellows, oranges, reds and blues. 

There's two reasons as to why - all my tattoos have a reason behind them, I think it's really important. Firstly its because my guy, the guy I want spend the rest of my life with is from PA and its a reflection of him and where we are. Secondly PA is where we're planning on having our very special first road trip around up into the Laurel Mountains for our Honeymoon. It'll be a mark of our love, our life and our future.

LIFE: Tattoos

I've noticed I've written a bit in the past upon this old blog of mine about tattoos and mentioned in passing like yesterday my love for them or just looking at them, yet I've never blogged about my own and what they "mean" to me. In a way this is one of the most personal blog's i've done to date because my ink is a massive part of me and who I am. It's been a way of expressing myself and they often enough because they are on my back don't often come on show. Sooo here goes!

Apart from always wanting tattoo's I sumcormed to the urge when I was 19 and got the first part of the design which has since grown into the large celtic-stonework design - call it what you will upon the top of my back.

The first design [the bit that looks like a love heart at the bottom] was I admit a flash design - one you pick off the endless boards that tattooist have in their studios that probably countless numbers of other people might have too. At the time I just wanted a tattoo and wasn't too bothered what I went to the place with no real idea and just picked that one. But I guess I grew up loving Celtic designs I use to draw them like crazy when I was younger so in a way it does reflect my interests growing up. But once you get the tattoo bug it only grows and grows and I wanted to make the first design bigger - it seems to be lacking in size, so I got the top design added with a few adjustments to like it together to the first. You can't really tell they were separate designs carried out by different tattooist about two hundred miles and a year apart. 

I say its my favourite because it's the first design that I worked on myself [with a few artistic changes from the tattooist] which I got when I was 23. In native American culture dragonflies as one of the totem symbols represent good luck, and upon my left shoulder that is what he is - he's my good luck symbol and keeps me pointing in the right direction.  The picture doesn't show him off too well but he is a gorgeous creature made up of five colours, every-time I see him it always makes me smile.

It would be misjudged to say they never hurt, well hurts probably too harsh a word. Its more of a tingling experience of just a needle being dragged around, wriggled in a bit too sharp at times, but its more then bearable when you see the final creation, then whatever the level of pain or it's duration it's more then worth it. 

The tips I guess I've come across is to properly think about what you want and the colours and places where you might want one. Talk, talk and talk to your tattooist about your design - they are there to help and will develop and work on your design till it's top notch. A tattooist studio MUST be clean - the way I've always worked this out if it smells like a dentist then your in the right place. Additionally they should always wear gloves and change needles between colours. And if it seems too cheap - then it probably will be. For an hours works with a few colours in it, you'll be looking around the £100 mark if its a known, decent tattooist. But its always worth paying a little more for experience.

A lot of tattooists or websites claim Vaseline as the product to use to help your tattoo heal, I argue against this and would recommend something like Bepanthen [nappy rash cream] as a product which lets your skin heal AND most importantly breathe, I always found that Vaseline dries your skin out too much. 

So that is where my current adventures finish but it's far from the end, the next two designs I'm working on are a love bird holding roses and laurel flowers in his mouth to go on my right shoulder and a pretty ribbon bow for the back of my neck - both have very special reasons why.

Ink'd

I adore looking and hunting out tattoos on real girls, girls like me that have embraced the ink in a kinda hell yeah we don't care what you think kinda manner. It doesn't make us any less feminine like so many people like to claim - we use it as a part of expressing ourselves, adding something to our outer shell. Of embracing design and enjoying life. 

I got my first tattoo when I was 19 and added to it when I was 20 and then got my dragonfly last year at 23. I crave more though - a special love bird and a ribbon bow are the next too planned ones - more on them as and when. The best way for inspiration is to use the web, not to seek out designs [them stencil semi trashy ones] but to look for real pictures, of real tattoos on real girls - that way you get the best impression of which styles you love, which colours/patterns work well alone and together and different areas to consider.

Have you got any ink? Would you?

All images from WeHeartIt

The only difference ...

I must have been driven past this tattooist numerous times but never noticed its signs when its closed. The little notices of words makes it something different;

"The only difference between tattooed people & non-tattooed people is ... tattooed people don't care if your not tattooed".

Sadly its true, I've been subjected to continuous "why would you" questions about my tattoos. Sometimes I like to think tattoos are more expected, but then again maybe tattooed skin is too far from the norm to be ever properly accepted by the masses. It's too challenging, too out there in your face.

Who knows.

Bus bus bus

Buses annoy me, well most of the time. Often just slow take this morning it decided it wanted to be 20 minutes late with no sign or word of an apology from the driver. Yet take Saturday night, the same journey and 3 minutes late and the driver uttered a huge sorry for his apparent lateness.

I wish I was one of them people that can do things while they are travelling. On trains I'm fine, but stick me into something moving with four wheels and I can't do anything but stare out of the front window. Texting is just manageable, but reading just is a lost cause.

With a week and a bit spent going back and forth for verging on two hours every day to work, its a wonder what you see and what people do when they are travelling either for work, shopping or meeting people.

Take tonight, one girl was crying during a phone conversation, on her lap a huge bunch of flowers and at her feet a massive rucksack, a women was knitting nearly in the darkness because the lights started to go faulty inside - some soaks in a gorgeous navy blue, a few were reading, chatting on phones, listening to music. One girl was doing some written work, an elderly man was winding up his hand-powered torch.

I just stared out of the window into the utter darkness and watched the stars go past.

Image of the Los Angles Motor Company Bus circa 1920s take from Flickr.

The ink'd personality

I have ink. I'm a girl and I have ink. So what you might care to ask? But so many people I have come across pass judgements over a girl, a twenty something contemporary young lady apparently degrading her body by going under the ink'ers needle. I'm too tired of people questioning why, of second strange glances over the size or design. And I know why it occurs - on the face of it I appear a "nice" girl - quiet to some extent, a bit of a geek at times, but nice, friendly, me. Possibly not the typical "inked" person.

I love ink and I always have. Since I was a young teenager it's always something I've always wanted to do. I love art, and ink is my chosen way of expression. I've always seen tattooing as one of the most expressive mediums of presenting yourself to the world (I'm not saying you should do it for the world however). Your body is your site, its your free performative skin that you have for the rest of your life and it changes as you do. Its the thing that you can use most effectively in moulding yourself and presenting yourself to those you address everyday. Everyone has skin, and every one's skin is pretty much the same. So why not make your skin different?

But why am I judge because I do have ink? Don't I care that I'll have it for the rest of my life? (no) What on earth will it look like when I'm old and in my 70s?! (who cares?!) Haven't I thought what guys will think about it when they strip me of my clothing and low and behold they see my ink on my shoulders and back (I want a guy to love me for it).

I have an impulsive nature to do things when I want to do them. I do things now because I want to have and do them now - not because of how things might be when I'm 70, and if a guy doesn't like me for having ink - then I don't wanna be with that guy. And to be thinking what my dragonfly ink will look like in 50 odd years is beside the point - if I never live that long.

My ink has always been the way of letting things go. With a history of self harming - the thrill and the buzz of going under the tattooists expert needle is a thrill I can never die of. Nor one I don't believe I could ever replace. It's the same thrill, well sometimes more then what I get from sex. Ink is my thrill. The tingle, the art, the medium and the painful pleasure is my addiction. It is my expression of me - of things that sit well inside me as well as they do outside.

Ink should be seen as an art, however it's morphed and hidden under many a dozen tacky ink that people choose - personal judgements, a lack of artistic flare of merely a regretful choice of ink may be the downfall to the performance of this art form. More so, surely the judgements of others regarding myself as a person, as a young lady should not be merely formed on me having being ink. Me and my ink may be linked quite tightly together - I designed them. They are my ink. They are therefore me. But society, well some elements still question the art of the ink as being associated with thuggery, deviance and crime. As if to be inked your a criminal or a deviant.

Admire the art of my ink upon my body yes - but don't categorise me for personal choice of self expression.

My empty blue sky

I've done more in my life then I have say a year ago, for sure. I've dated two guys, loved two guys - but also lost them. The second well that was rather recent. But I've found out more about myself - my desires, my loves. My DVD collection for sure has grown. So has my imagination about wanting to be like Betty Grable - or at least have her sophistication and glamour. This time last year I was in my whirlwind Masters application. My MA decision has being one of the best choices I've ever made in my life (reminder - personal last minute decisions may be the most productive - hence the success of the tattoo and random hair dying).

The people and experiences I have come to cross through doing my Masters have opened doors and occurrences that I never thought I had the opportunity to experience again. Not only did I sneak another year at being a student - I met people that actually understood me - my way of thinking, following the same dreams to make a statement, to fight societal assumptions, to be the people that want to not only mark themselves upon the world, but do something about the society we find ourselves living within.

Yet for all this - I wouldn't say I was happier inside. But what is happiness? Is it the ability of being able to wake up every morning alive? That should make you happy right? Sure it does, but surely there should be more then merely being able to breathe to make you happy? You can breathe and feel dead inside, like your body is merely undertaking the processes to keep you alive but inside your not feeling anything. So what else could be happiness? I know I enjoy the sound of bird singing, of seeing summer flowers blossoming, of finding a book you just can't put down, of laughter and smiles. And I guess they make me happy.

I feel I have everything going for me, that I have life on my side. But I feel like I'm searching for a happiness that I can't find. One that is normally too dependent upon other people. But is this such a bad thing?

I'm searching for how to make myself happy. Always searching.