BLOGGING: Don't Assume Your Blog Followers ...

There always seems to be a LOT of presumptions and assumptions thrown around and about blogging these days. That you need to blog a certain way, feature certain things, you have to be in it for the money. It often focuses on us, our blog, our writing, our style, but what about those that read your blog, those followers that come back time after time. Why are we making assumptions about those?!

Across the board it's time to stop the assumptions of finding this perfect reader we all seem to be after and remember why we started blogging and more often that not, just blog for ourselves.

So stop assuming that your blog readers;

Only use bloglovin
Please please please, I say this as a reader, link out your blog URL during a blog chat, not your bloglovin page. I'm pretty clued up and I'm sure if you're blog savvy you'll have a BL link on your page. While BL is really popular, it's not the only way to follow a blog, I know because it's not my preferred way (I only "follow" a blog on there because of the pressure of having to look like I follow your blog and so I can enter all your competitions - I actually use Feedly to read everything). Linking your BL link is just an extra annoying step for me, and my time is precious.

Want you to constantly talk blog

Obviously as a blog reader myself, if I have a liking for your blog I'm more than happy to follow you across different social media. Mainly because I'm nosy but I want to see what else goes on in your life - the things that you might not always get around to blogging about. But constantly talking blog all-the-time gets draining and I'll unclick. Throw a line out to your followers, engage with them, see what they get to too, it'll certainly help breach that reader - blogger bridge.

Are dumb

Regular readers are pretty wise, a hint of an undisclosed sponsored post can be smelt a mile off or a sudden 180 to constant PR posts. Integrity is a huge part of blogging, to me at least and regardless of how long you've being doing it for, you have to keep it real. So don't try and sneak out a sponsored post and pass it off like you didn't get something in return, your readers trust your words (or they should if they don't have any reason to doubt you) so respect them.

Are always following for the right reasons

Cynical to say but some "followers" may not be there for the right reasons, they might be fake, they might be just following and pay no attention to your blog and just hope you follow them back or because you wanted to reach a milestone and they are part of your follower quota. In other words, do things to make people follow you for the right reasons - you're approachable, your personality, your topics and just maybe because you let your blog grow organically over time.

Will always be happy

You can't please everyone in life so why expect to do so on your blog. You'll have readers that love some topics and hate others. Then you might have others that love every single thing you do, or they might just dig your photographs. Basically what I'm trying to say is that you can't make everyone happy with every single post (although if you do that's pretty awesome) so don't stress about trying too. Blog to make yourself happy - share the things that make you tick, that make you smile. 

Mind if you take a break

Life gets in the way of blogging at times, it's just a factor you have to deal with, but don't assume your readers need you to blog every single week if you can't handle it. If you can that's a high five to you, but sometimes we all burn out, we get bloggers block or you just go on holiday and you want to leave your blog standing for a while. It's fine to walk away for a week or two, most readers may not even notice because while we might love your blog, we're probably following far too many others to even note when one might not blog for a couple of days.

What do you wish people wouldn't amuse about blog readers?
What as a reader, do you wish more bloggers did or didn't do? I'd love to hear!

FOOD: Why You Should Ditch the Chain and Eat Local on Holiday

While Applebees, The Outback Steakhouse to the Cheesecake Factory (overated and overpriced, yeah I said it) may attract tourists and locals alike. That doesn't mean you should just eat at the chain restaurants if you're visiting the US (or on any holiday in any country if we're being honest). This post came about after yesterdays #lbloggers chat and all the recommendations for the aforementioned chain restaurants if you ever happen to be visiting the USA, to be despair of myself and Joe.

Even as a non tourist, in the two and half years of America being my home, I've barely eaten in chains (about twice in Applebees - nowt special, couple of times in I-Hop - urgh, Red Lobster - s'alright) and i'll openly admit to liking US fast food chains (Taco Bell, Culvers (great concrete mixes) Wendy to Steak n Shake (mmm milkshakes)) but the majority of the places we eat in are local, independent restaurants, take outs and cafes. 

Why? Because that's were you'll find the variety, the local cuisine, the food that makes America run. Ya know what us locals eat. All those tasty looking foods in that photograph? Yeah all eaten and enjoyed in our local Detroit places (Slows, Grand Trunk Pub, Treat Dreams, Comet Burgers). 

To visit the real America you need to experience the local places. You need to step into the Mexicantowns, the Polish bakeries, you should dine in mom n pop restaurants, the diners, eat on the streets from the food trucks or in the 1950's slider joints. They might not necessarily look as smart or as well polished but you'll be treated to huge portions, local cuisines and by heck, cheaper and better food because they specialize in their customers tastes, the local produce probably using recipes that go way back. 

This is why I pour for hours through reviews on Trip Advisor, and add in my own. I want to know the best independent places whether it's for a date night down the road or a weekend away in Bay City or Pittsburgh. Local food varies between cities as it varies between states. But local always wins with us, every time.

For me food is all part of the travel experience. It's about filling the senses whether it's sightseeing or tasting the local grub. So the next time you plan that holiday to Orlando or New York, hunt out the independent restaurants, find the local places and you'll eat like a local - step outside your comfort zone. You'll find the real America not just the tourist one. 

What about you? Local places or the chains?

BLOGGING: 5 Years of Thoughts About the Blogsphere

During that little blog break, I did a bit of thinking (not a lot because it hurts) about the whole blogging malarkey in general. What creeped into my mind? Well, everything from wondering if it was time to call it quits on blogging, why blogging is celebrated as being such a fun and loving community when on the other hand it can be as bitchy as a playground, to the role and position of blogging within my life.

As someone who is in her late 20's, out of her depth at times in another country, a wife, now with the chores of keeping up a house, with bills to pay, things to explore and working for myself, it's hard to balance everything and run a blog - which is why for me at least, this will always be just a hobby - one of many.  Yet July rolling out marks the 5th year of this space. A space to share my experiences the good and the bad. From being a student to being a Yorkshire lass in Michigan. Over five years you start to notice things. 

Like all the drama of the last couple of months, be it people bitching about each other on certain forums to twitter. Then on the other hand people declare with glee the sense of community. Not that I want to be a Debbie Downer, but there's no balance. It just doesn't sit right - if there was a super tight community, why would we then take to shamming and tearing each other apart? Agreed not everyone does this, but we always seem to find fault with each other - love hating big or small blogs, those who undertake sponsorship, those how do or do not comment, return comments and the like.

While blog chats can be a great source for networking, sharing ideas and meeting like minded people. Sometimes they all seem to be telling you to blog a certain way - you have to be in it for the money, you have to have a fancy camera, you have to be do, this, that and never ever this. Blogging seems to be full of far too many rules, especially for what is for many, a hobby. With pretty much a three week break from blog chats, I can't say I've missed them, in fact I've grown a little cynical about them.

There's too many follows for follows, too many unfollows when you don't return the favor (especially on twitter), too many comments purely left to spam a link. Where has the sharing, the commenting, the sense of pride we have in ourselves and the wider blogsphere gone? We always seem to pit ourselves against each other - the big verses the small blogger, those who accept advertising and those who don't, the younger verses the older blogger, the hobbyist verses the professional.

Blogging shouldn't and for me won't be about blogging x amount of times a week, it's not about begging for followers to meet a milestone, undisclosed sponsored posts and the like. Don't get me wrong I love blogging, I love the friends I've made through it, I love having my space to type and share - but like I mentioned previously, blogging for me is just a hobby, like cross stitching, crochet, gardening, collecting vintage stuff.

What about you? What keeps you blogging? What are you loves and hates about the blogsphere?

LIFE: Today Is Like Any Other Day

For us, today is like any other day. I'll not make the bed, i'll moan about either ebay, the snow, the temperature - or all of them several times, play with the kitties and then we'll be having a pizza take out. Not because it's valentines but because Friday is always date night around ours. We won't be swapping cards, buying gifts, or even pronouncing and wishing each other a happy valentines.

You may call us cynical, but we're not. Managing a long distance relation for two years yet alone all the paperwork (lets not think of all the fees we paid) to be together, living in the same country and both wanting it, I don't need to another card to remind me. We have our anniversaries, our weekly date night, tickle fights, Joe driving me around estate sales every week, believing in me every day - I know that he loves me. 

Joe influences and helps me grow as a person daily - hell before him I'd never even read a comic, ate mac n cheese, liked hot dogs or ice cream, I turned my nose up at science books, Star Trek and probably would have given up blogging years ago. 

Yes I'm one of those cynical people that believe love should be shared and spoke of daily - it's shared through the little things, not because Hallmark, retail store or media outlet yet alone blogger is telling you so. 

So today might be February the 14th, but it's pizza day and Joe has the day off as a long weekend with Monday being some national holiday - Presidents Day I believe, and that's my kind of day. Actually take today to be reminded of the real history behind Valentine's Day - a day celebrated in many Christian denominations in remembrance of the Valentine martyrs of Rome (typically between AD 95 - AD 500) - with no romantic link to it's origins until the 14th century with Chaucer's "Valentines" poetry - were the sacrifice of the martyrs was sadly and still nearly always remains forgotten. Fast forward to 1797 and the British went full steam ahead into the mass, commercialised Valentines giving of cards.

If you want a blast from the past - here's my ways of how we copied in a long distance relationship.

How will you be spending your February the 14th?

LIFE: Things #3

My intention was never based around doing these life ranty come happy posts weekly, but I'm running with inspiration to carry them on. This week fits around the Thanksgiving edition of a long weekend in somewhat rural Pennsylvania and the start of Christmas festivities. Here goes!

♥ There's only so much NRA, rifle, hunting talk I can take in a given time period. You may eat every part of what your shooting, but the idea of hunting animals for fun sickens me. And I say that as a country girl myself.

♥ People finding out you live near Detroit, then watching and hearing their surprise when you don't mention it being like a zombie wasteland when they ask.

♥ The only Cyber Monday to occur in these parts were stocking up on shipping supplies - the fun never stops with me.

♥ People asking for help on twitter/blogs (insert whatever social media form here) and never finding the words to say thank you for taking the time, or even generally acknowledging your response. You drive me mad!

♥ Wondering where people get some of their statements from on Tripadivsor - some just seem to be picked out of the negative air of doom and very out of place.

♥ Took our nephews to the Carnegie Science Museum, good thing about being an aunt/uncle is you get to hand them back, oh my they have so much energy!

♥ People asking for handouts to follow their dream - seriously I managed to move countries and somewhat start my own business by myself, if you want it hard enough, work for it. 

♥ Baking gingerbread men and having most of their heads fall off ... now some kind of scary headless gingerbread men. Tasty all the same!

♥ Trusting the idea of a sushi all you can eat buffet - granted it wasn't so bad, but ya know ...

♥ One of our neighbours gave us a spare Cat's Meow toy (basically it has a motor under a piece of material that alternates in which direction it turns and drives the cats mad) has entertained out cats no end for the past week!

♥ Sarri's chocolate covered pretzels are amazing - shame they can only be found in western Pennsylvania.

♥  Finally getting around to ordering actual prints of my photographs, and making two photobooks as Christmas presents made this week more protective then I gave it credit for.

What's been getting your goat this week?

LIFE: Things #2

Ranting so close to Thanksgiving is possibly going against the meaning of the holiday, but as a British expat I feel like i'm somewhat gatecrashing the preceding's anyway. Luckily this installment of things - a look into my rants and loves features the good as much as it does the bad. So here goes!

♥ Cool kids jumping on the Doctor Who wagon being "geeks" for an hour and then going back to being the cool kids. 

♥ Question - can you be a Doctor Who fan without watching any of the classic Doctors? Do all these cool, or even new fans of the Doctor know anything, or take the time to go back, re-watch and explore the original Doctor Who or is it all about the new Doctors (the Smith's the Tennants) and that's it?! Discuss in the comments please!

♥ Talking about geeky shows, mines Star Trek - a new ritual of dark hot chocolate out of my TNG mug while watching the original series has begun oh and starting my Star Trek TNG cross stitch.

♥ Wondering if non Star Trek fans of Big Bang Theory "get" the Star Trek references, guest stars etc?!

♥ Beauty blog posts clogging up the #lbloggers twitter tag - just spam your own category please!

♥ Everything in the apartment breaking at once - from the closet door the AC dial to the toilet ... for which a broken toilet isn't deemed as urgent enough to fix within a day ...

♥ Date night sushi from Noble Fish - (one of THE best places to get made to order sushi in Metro Detroit) - it said so on this list.

♥ Homemade chicken pot pie - your husband going automatically for seconds - sign of a good meal!

♥ Actually gave in and watched the Hunger Games, really didn't get on with the book, film was somewhat better then expected, it's nice when you're proved wrong by a film. 

♥ Drivers who don't use their sodding indicators - like seriously?!

♥ Actually getting a little tearful when you read that they have plans to demolish your fresher year student housing (Ricky Road at Newcastle University).

Share what's been bugging you or what you've been loving too!

Indicator image source. 

LIFE: The Things in Life

It gets to a point were I end up with a lot of things on my mind, things that probably shouldn't bug me but they do. But as they say, better out then in in my vain hope that typing things out will cool me down. But fear not, it's not all negative.

♥ Bloggers apologizing for text and or heavy blog posts, or if they haven't blogged in like two days. You really shouldn't feel like you need to aplogise, it's your blog stick as many darn photographs up as you like.

♥ Since when did perfume and £50+ gifts become stocking fillers?
♥ In fact when did Christmas become all about the gifts - can we have some more crafty, food and more of the Christmas spirit within posts please?!

♥ Talking about Christmas, has there been some huge shift in the UK to explain all the Christmas related blog posts in November coming out of the UK?!

♥ Tornado watches still scare me .. and they aren't even as serious as a tornado warning. 

♥ Filling up my netflix list with period and British dramas and going on Bomb Girl binges (great 1940's Canadian drama). 

♥ Eating far more doughnuts from krispy kreme than one really should

♥ My growing contempt for our apartment complex ....

♥ Being grateful for having a British food section in Meijer - Britishness levels maintained after purchasing more HP sauce. 

♥ Non payers on ebay, seriously don't buy or bid on things if you don't have the money.
♥ Unfollowers.me for twitter is highly addictive and perhaps a little stalker like, it also is making me angry at those who opt to follow you and then unfollow you within a couple of days if you don't follow back. Yeah I know what your after really ...
♥ Oh and when people who thought were okay with you and you notice them unfollowing you too ...
♥ Endless Modern Family reruns for hours. 
♥ Falling for Taco Bell advertising of the Triple Steak (well I opted for chicken) stack ... tasty.
♥ Remembering pork pies and sausage rolls exist and living with huge cravings for them.
♥ And finally winter means clementine season, which means tastiness!

What things are you loving or are bugging you?

Your Not Welcome Here

You'd think in a country hit by economic times, loosing it's industry under Thatcher, a country like the UK would welcome tourists and their pennies and pounds that they spend. You are welcome, if your not from India, Pakistan and other "at risk countries" although the concise list hasn't been announce it's thought to include such Middle East countries. 

The news of these (yet another change) to UK immigration and the granting of visas, this time for tourists seems to have broken and be more apparent in the Indian news organisations (aside from the Guardian) but yet again the UK seems to be going with the assumptions of those who fear and distrust those outside of the UK borders. It's constantly, us against them. Now to gain a tourist visas, any one from such countries in the future may have have to pay up to $4,600 bond to limit their chances of them overstaying their visa. The government who are on a mission to reduce net migration by 100,000 argue they are now attempting to deal with their new immigration issue - those entering legally, and then turn illegal when they overstay their welcome. 

It just seems as someone now an immigrant, now at expat that the UK is doing everything to discourage anyone from entering the UK even just for a holiday. If your not rich enough, or white enough they don't want you. These assumptions towards visitors from certain countries are disgrace and just play into the extremes of UKIP. To many, the UK is closing, and closing quickly. The original ideas are being readdressed as I type this, perhaps they won't end up being as ridiculous as the claims that are going around the Indian press right now, but the notion and the fact that they are considering it, speaks for itself.

Oddly enough googling "You're not welcome" for an image for this post (not that I could find anything) and the first result is about the UK's immigration policies. Says it all.

The State of Cursive Handwriting

A birthday message between cousins, postmarked 1911

My recent post about the vintage railroad postcards and in general people's reactions to traditional cursive handwriting from the early 1990's and before made me look into the state of cursive handwriting today. I myself was taught how to write in cursive when I was in infants school - I don't remember the extract age but I must have been around 6 and to this day I still write "joined up" although so many people (Joe included) have issues reading my handwriting - I call it spider sprawl - the result of four years in university lecturers and writing quickly. Hey I can read it ... most of the time). 

Then I got to remembering a news story about schools and states wanting to stop the need to teach cursive handwriting, stating a lack of interest - especially in this fast paced technological era when people abandoned the pen and snail mail in favour of texting and emails. Even a teacher in this Center Daily article cites the cursive form as existing; "now for thank-you notes and letters to your grandma". The school in which said teacher works at is in Pennsylvania - a state which educates pupils to the Common Core State Standard for English - a standard which does not require the use of cursive handwriting in high school. And while it's still taught at elementary schools, it's certainly not leveled as a fixed requirement in later years. Such a difference to my education when throughout school cursive was often considered the only way to be writing.

Whereas in North Carolina, the reintroduction of cursive instruction is being billed - a move following California, Georgia and Massachusetts who have reintroduced cursive as a teaching requirement and is being considered in Indiana and Idaho. While writing in cursive not only helps you to be able to read older manuscripts like the postcards I've been scanning in, but learning and writing in cursive has been argued to help encourage student creativity and more importantly brain development. 

Nevertheless there's always going to be people who think teaching cursive is a waste of time. I myself think cursive should be maintained and encouraged and keeps the art of penned notes and writing alive, there's far too many emails and texts flying around and anything that might encourage penmanship is more then welcome. 

So now I ask you, do you think cursive writing should still be encouraged? Or is the teaching and learning of computer skills more important in this technological era?

Read more here: http://www.charlotteobserver.com/2013/02/25/3872044/bill-would-require-nc-schools.html#storylink=cpy

Blogging When You Have Nothing to Blog About

Blogging can be evil at times, you blog a little less each week, you get a decreasing amount of views and comments which ultimately leads you to blogging less and less. Then you get to the point where i'm at and you wonder about giving up completely. I've been blogging for four years - i've had loads of things to blog about, but since the drama of moving to the USA and the completion of the long distance relationship i've always felt i've run out of things to say or that because i'm not here, people don't want to hear what I say.

I'm not fashionable, i'm not into make up, I'm into vintage not because Cath whatsherface Kidson made it fashionable, I was into it way before then, I love my music playing from a vinyl record but I'm just as happy listening to Trivium and Machine Head after listening to Motown. I'm too much of a contradiction that I don't think people can relate to me as a person or to where I am both geographically and in my life. I know you're meant to "blog about what you like" well I did on Monday with the 1920's magazines which I thought additionally my readers would - apparently not. All makes me just want to pack it all in.

This year i'm 27, I'm busy with Hook Stitch Treasure in it's numerous forms, we're saving our pennies for a mortgage and hoping to buy a house this year, I'm married. I don't have countless nights out getting drunk to blog about, Saturdays are estate sale hunting days (and my blog posts about what we find go down like a lead balloon) and this endless, snow filled winter Michigan is throwing at me leaves us going out around the state less and less. Then again i'm in Detroit and well, not many people care to read about that place either while I'd love to write more about Detroit and Michigan but then I think "what's the point?".

It feels like I need to apologise for being grown up and settled, for my love for proper vintage and for where I live. Because it's not fashionable, because i'm not fashionable.

And I don't want to do that. 

Not at all.

So I don't know what to do.

Finding Your Home

Image Source

 

In recent weeks we've decided we're going to be saving up for our first place. Yey for no more renting, annoying loud neighbours, landlords that ask for more money and do less and more room for our finds. It's all happened alongside me rethinking my views on my homeland and we're I see my future. 

Once upon a time I had envisioned us perhaps settling in the UK. Yet this is pretty much an unrealistic possibility. The Torries have effectively curbed any of our chances of returning - they've drastcially altered the requirements for spouse migraton into the UK if you're married to a non EU citizen. So we'd basically never be able to afford to move back (when I say that I'm not joking - we'd never have the monetary requirements for the amount of savings they'd want us to have). But there probably wouldn't be a country to return too. What finished it off was the plus of some people sharing facebook statuses calling for the UK to get a backbone - cull progressive liberalism and end migration - oh and for take over of the BNP. I don't want to belong in a country like that. I'm somewhat ashamed that people don't care to stand up to what the government is doing to their country  and especially to the NHS.

Don't get me wrong the US has it's issues - there's things I don't agree with - like guns and the lack of gun control, I dislike how influential religion is when it comes to politics, issues with (the lack of) women's rights and the attitudes by the right towards homosexuality and gay marriage. 

In two years the UK will be heading to the voting booths, but in two years I can additionally apply for US citizenship. Granted if and when your granted citizenship I don't have to denounce my UK citizenship but the more I think about it, and the more I compare to how things are in the UK the more I want to be settling at this side of the pond. Does this make me sad, a little, more angry at how the UK treats it's expats - and until it changes said attitudes I don't want much to do with it.

Saying that its going to take us probably a year to save up so I can't say farewell to these horrid walls until then. 

Blogging in Your Life

Image from weheartit. 

Not having a phone for over a week got me thinking about the place of social media - especially blogging within a bloggers life. Many may not agree with this post but I felt it important to share my views and just get my rant out of my system. This week life has been up in the air with an impromptu visit from the mother in law and Joe having extra time off - so for me blogging, twitter and etsy goes on the back-burner (ebay doesn't because that's where I gain my income from). And this I don't mind - i'd rather be spending my time with my husband, family and friends rather then constantly blogging and tweeting - for me it's great to have that time away and be able to back off.

Now the issue - for my rant steams from when people can't back off from blogs and social media and the line behinds to blur so they constantly say sorry for having a life, doing things and not blogging for three days or they haven't blogged three posts within a day. It might be Christmas Day but people still need to blog, they still feel the need to rant on Christmas Day how a certain advertising button application isn't working - It's Christmas day does it really matter? Granted I sent the occasional tweet on Christmas Day but I certainly didn't blog or read any blogs - I didn't even turn the computer on. I know and I do back off at important times. 

Maybe it's because the reason for the mother-in-laws visit up to Michigan was for a funeral and it got me thinking. I'd rather be spending time with those important to me then feeling the constant need to be virtually updating my life. Don't get me wrong I love blogging and I'm really chuffed to have the followers and readers I do - but I additionally hope they realize blogging isn't my life. Life comes first. 

American's and manners - or a lack of them

Source

I ended up ranting about this mid way around a "posh" estate sale at the weekend to Joe - he has to hear all of my rants sadly. You see, I thought I was one of "that generations  which, with the raise of social media and texting manners where going out of the window. That's what we were told to believe, us young folk that never opened doors for others or said please and thank you. Transplant that youth, being me into the USA and well, i'm just a huge bag of manners. 

Granted estate sales are kind of similar to jumble sales in the fact that it's every man, or women for themselves. Elbows are sharped and if you see something you want you grab it out from under the nose of the next person. However, estate sales have increasingly made me realise the amount of MIDDLE AGED people in the USA that lack common courtesy. You stand aside in a door way, they just walk pass you, you hold a door open and they don't even acknowledge your presence with a smile. Apparently manners do cost over here. 

This is how I always feel after estate sales - source

Maybe i'm too nice, I do hold doors open, I stand aside to let others past, I say please and thank you because I was raised that way and I think it's important. I want to raise my children to have manners too. There's too much rush and hassle in the world to not take the time out, interact and be pleasant to others. I know certain areas of the UK, say in London people aren't perceived as being as "friendly" as say the north but you do occasionally get a smile out of someone. Here in the US, or at least I should say south east Michigan as to not stereotype the whole of the country, a smile is a lucky find. 

But then you get to the other extreme of customer service, an experience people always would consider to be lacking in the UK when it comes to shopping. America to me certainly does try and give you customer service but to the point were it's all over the top. I'm sorry but I know you're only saying "have a good day" because you have too and you sound like a robot saying it. Maybe everyone's faced with too much of the false greetings and thanks that people don't know how to say the real ones. 

Source

Do you think manners are a dying trend regardless of your country?

On a totes happier note - so looking forward to Thanks Giving and sticking up the olde Christmas tree this week - you totally can get away with putting your tree up in November in the USA and I love it! 

#NBCfail and what you didn't see of the Olympic ceremony if you live in the US

On Friday night all over the world, people were settling down to watch the opening of the 2012 London Olympics. Being British myself it was something I had a natural invested interest in seeing. I was excited about how they'd blow open the ceremony and show off all that is British. Being in America however it wasn't so easy.

While many countries globally regardless of their time zone were streaming coverage of the ceremony live, here in America we couldn't start watching it till 7:30PM [eastern time] a good three hours after they had started in London. Canada literally just over the boarder from sitting here in Detroit were showing it live. NBC, who have the coverage rights justified this with wanting to show it at a time when most people would be home [as they started at 9:30PM in the UK this equated to people still at work across the US]. They wanted a bigger audience.

It turns out perhaps there was another reason behind not streaming it live - NBC didn't want to broadcast the tribute to those who lost their lives during the 7/7 bombings in London - even though it was dedicated to all of those who had lost their lives due to terrorism. Watching the showing it did seem very stop start and I knew something wasn't right to the point I even tweeted about it;

 

But being far past many British tweeters bedtime nothing more came of my tweet but its interesting that my gut feeling was right. You see in the US the coverage went from the music flash back to an ad break then to an interview with an American swimmer to the athletes coming out. I knew it would never of ended at the music thing - it didn't seem right. They also cut out parts of the Artic Monkeys too, and I can't recall seeing the red arrows and there's probably other things cut out too.

The memorial to the dead tribute during the opening ceremony of London 2012. Source.

This development is something that broke over twitter more then anywhere else and it only came to my attention with NBC trending [also though the hashtag #nbcfail] - I thought it was more people taking the piss out of their poor Olympic commentating - apparently there was more to it. NBC have justified not showing this part of the ceremony because it wasn't geared for their American audience. I'm sorry but shouldn't the American audience of all people know the affects of terrorism? In the UK we constantly see broadcasts and hold minutes of silences and the like to those who died in 9/11, why isn't it two way? Aren't those innocent people who lost their lives in my home country of the UK worthy being noted, marked and remembered too? In fact I would have thought many Americans would have been able to relate to such an part of the ceremony.

I know this may or may not be a big deal to some people but as an expat it's made me very angry and it's shockingly disgusting that a media player can get away and justifying such actions. English lives and English tributes are worthy of being shown just as any one elses. 

Just saying.

That one BIG comparison - religion

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I'll be the first to admit to being liberal and maybe because of that I've never really "got" religion. Nor can I understand people living word by word by it and I find many religions and some religious people to be very hypocritical. In moving from a pretty secular country to somewhere where religion is very much everywhere has been a huge eye opener. And while I write this post and publish it out into the big wide world, I don't mean to cause offence if religion is your thing. [I'm all for religion - but it's not for me, don't peach at me about you're religion and don't get brainwashed about how it's the only way to lead your life, to me religion has caused far too many of the world's problems, killed too many people and claimed too many lands, but that's my own belief].

So .... RELIGION - perhaps it was how I was raised but I believe my case could well apply to many people in the UK. We're brought up with either religion meaning tradition or the religious fanaticism that leads to terrorism. Being British our religion [if you have one] is something that is personal - to broadcast or shout out about it is bad form, you keep it to yourself and you get on with your life. Or, we're just indifferent to it.

In America religion is everywhere - churches are everywhere, people talk about their religion very openly, attend church weekly and in gardens you'll find statues and shrines to the virgin Mary. I've married into a religious family - although Joe himself is rather carefree, the rest of the family seems very much by the word of the book and their praying before meals made me rather uncomfortable. The difference between our two countries is clearly quantitative, a survey in 2008 disclosed only 15% of Americans describe themselves as being of "no religion" in comparison to the 43% in the UK. Furthermore only 3% of Americans would state not believing in God to 18% of the UK population.

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It even extends to the differences within blogs. Religion creeps into more American based bloggers [maybe I'm just exposed to more of them] and to me, it's a little unnerving especially with regards to how they so openly criticise other people's lives and constantly make biblical quotations, that they are sinners and Jesus saved them. There are fanatics in many religions but for a country that's meant to be so forward in the world it's amazing that religion has such a big place. I've read a comparison that religion in the USA is where religion was in the UK back in the 1500s and this I could well believe.

More so religion is in bed with politics, so much that the Republican party are often renamed as the Religious Right. From the right/church come the pro life cries [anti pill/abortion] tend to be against this on going debate for increased women's health provision. The church even continues the call for evolution to be taught in schools [although no prayers can be said at any school due to laws under the American constitution], porn is one of the biggest evils and we all know their attitudes towards gay marriage or even gay relationships. In contrast religion and politics in the UK don't mix that very often - the church will mouth off about something they disagree with but that seems to be that.

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Religion seems to be a huge element for social cohesion here in the USA and it strongly seems to define many living here and being "American". But whatever your religion is, whether you have one or not shouldn't define who you and the bible shouldn't dictate what you're rights as human should be.

Just saying.

LIFE: Move Countries and You Realise ...

.... just who your friends are. Sad but true. I also apologise if this ends up being a long unreadable rant but it's been bugging me a little on the inside and it's time to let it out. I want to have the guts to post the title of this post on my facebook so the so called "friends" could see. Could see that all their apparent promises to keep in touch etc were just literally nothing. While I ranted here on LOTS many a time about my old work "mates" a fair few of them commented on my leaving how we'll all stay in touch. The actual amount that has - one. Should I really be surprised? Probably not, but I am upset that one of the girls that I actually thought was my friend hasn't bothered for months. 

Although moving countries is all new and exciting, I got to be with my guy, I got married and we did a fair bit of traveling in that first two months. But I always made the time to comment on people's facebook status and send them emails etc. I know it's two way but I'm sure I always took the time to still be in touch. While moving is exciting, when you don't really know people, you still want to know about and be in touch with the people that matter to you no matter where you are in the world.

This is were I feel like my blogger/twitter friends are some of the most thoughtful and amazing people I've ever met. All the food parcels and best wishes, all the comments of good lucks and questions about settling into American life has always comes from blogger friends. There's not been one offer of a food parcel from my in real life friends, no asking how life is, no Christmas cards even though they asked for my address. Nothing. Not a single thing. 

I'm not sure what this says about me or my friends to be honest. Maybe I'm not worthy of proper friends? It sure makes me feel that way. Maybe I need to stop taking people on their word and/or trusting people.

But while I'm bitter about them, this is a post to say thank you for all the love, best wishes, offers of food swaps and general inquires about how a Yorkshire gal is doing in the old Michigan land.

BLOGGING: A Love Hate Thing

Well not just blogging. When you just have those down moments when you just want to hide away. Sometimes things get to me especially when you mix hormones, cabin fever and feeling lonely - everything comes to a boil. You start missing crazy things like the BBC TV channels, salad cream and quavers then you get to be a stalking mess with regards to your blogging statistics. Blogging is one of those activities you can have such a love hate relationship with. While we should all blog as a passion its oh so easy to get tied in wondering why people aren't commenting, why you're loosing followers and why others have blogs growing triple the rate of yours. Ah.

I need to take a step back from my blog a little. Because of not being able to work yet [another issue that's getting at me because I sometimes wonder if my two degrees are ever going to get me anywhere], sitting on the computer has become my way to spend the day until Joe gets home. But that isn't the way to be spending my life. You probably won't even notice I'm not there has much  because I'll still post, read, comment and things but I'll know in myself I'm doing more outside of the blogging world. I've registered myself at the local library and grabbed a couple of books [Remember Me by Sophia Kinsella, Jodi Picoult's Songs of the Humpback Whale and ordered The Hunger Games]. I might even wander there during the week and spend the odd hour especially with the weather getting better.Plus hopefully with the spring coming up I can get back out with my camera.

On a happier note we spent the weekend eating tacos, drinking at The Oakland - a 1920s styled speak easy cocktail bar [complete with seedy lighting and posh drinks], tried frozen custard for the first time. All of which were utterly tasty beyond belief. And won three compacts in a lot on Ebay after making over $80 selling some of our stuff.

I'm still trying to organise the bloggers who collects series - they'll be getting posted as soon as I start getting some backs! And if you still want to get involved just let me know. But it might have to get pushed back till I get some posts back.

Part thirteen .. questions, questions, questions

One of the things I panic a lot about when it comes to the visa is all the protential quesitons they might ask about our relationship - the visa i'm on [the k-1] is basically a non immigrant visa which lets me into the USA for 90 days within which we have to marry. Then we attempt to adjust my status and that's another battle in itself. First we need to prove we have a proper relationship, and it's more then just showing you have the odd photograph together. I know I shouldn't worry - because what we have is proper and i'm not mail order bride, but its the not knowing what they want to hear. The questions [well sample ones you can find on the internet] are pretty straight forward but drive you in circles dusting over the "how did you meet", birthday dates, addresses, places of work then needing to know things like;

When is your birthday - your in trouble if you don't know this one me thinks ...

What is your fiancées designation at work ... i'll tell you after i've worked out what designation means ... job er social worker?

Did you have an engagement party ... are you for real? It's hard enough trying to get to see each other yet along get a party organised for an engagement. To be honest I know few couples who ever have had an engagement party.

What do your parents think of your engagement and did you make a formal announcement ... no comment - swiftly moving along ....

Why are you getting married in the U.S and not your home country ... cuz we just are, i can't really explain why apart from me hating my job, hating living at home and Joe having a career, a job, a car, a cat ...

Do you understand your finances language ... well he does use funny words like sidewalk, freeway, trunks, pants for trousers but I can improve it ...

Can you show proof of your arrangements to marry - to be honest this is rich. Countless countless times your reminded NOT to book any plans or flights or weddings because you might just not get your visa, so why would you go booking venues and send out dated invites when your wedding might not happen?! All we have is some stamped out invites and a wedding dress hung up in my boy's cupboard.

The easiest of the questions though; what do you love about your ficance  ... he's my best friend, my rock, my guy that I giggle with, he's caring, affectionate, passionate, sweet, caring, and funny. I love how he makes me feel inside, and i love the tingles I get with him. Why wouldn't I want to be with a guy like that?!

The adjustment of status questions are even worse - requesting details of your housing arrangement and where you keep your rubbish in the kitchen apparently sometimes I wonder how many "normal" relationships could answer those questions. But I think i'll worry about these questions first.

So please Mr Visa don't think what we don't have isn't real, it made be based over a huge distance and we may not physically have spent loads of time together, but I know damn sure what we have is amazing special ... how else have we managed to do this for over two years?!

Head down and back to swotting!

LIFE: Come Together

This weekend has been half spent between baking and reading countless photography magazines. You could say I was becoming a little bit of a geek - especially about the latter element I just mentioned. I'm trying to get my head around the geeky camera terms, working out which camera to invest in and reading up about the Lomo cameras which i'm really tempted by too. I found the photographed charm necklace in Primark when I was down in London for my medical and just fell for it - for £1.50 it was a dead winner and sums me up perfectly. 

The parents found a cheap cupcakes and muffin recipe book in Asda yesterday so I was making use of it, making some moist walnut [with lots of lemons] cupcakes and some orange cupcakes. Both are totally untried too - how they've managed going a day without being eaten I don't know! I blame myself for eating my way through strawberry tarts.

But another full weekend off means back to work tomorrow. I'm not really loving work at the moment, one women wants more hours at work so can't wait for me to leave and the rest, well I feel like i've totally done something wrong in my visa because of not hearing anything back yet [that is a rant in itself] and all they hear and see is newspaper headlines claiming immigration is easy. They don't fill me with positive vibes at all. Plus having an American boy I have a slight attachment to America these days - it is going to be my new home country after all. This set off a debate at work steaming from a chat about 9/11 - and the narrow minded convostation from some quarters at about muslims and how mosques shouldn't be built in the UK especially in York. I actually had to walk out the room because I would have blown at the girl who came out with this statement.  Don't get me wrong, I totally believe you should have freedom of speech but not arrogant and ignorant statements. I know you shouldn't really talk about reglion in the work place but I couldn't just stand there and not say anything. I'm all for being an open, expecting, democratic and tolerant society. I'm not very good at dealing with such narrow mindness.

Here's to be better week, and just maybe getting my interview date or we may have to move the date of our wedding back. Boo hiss.

Part Seven. Stuck

I spent the night eating ben and jerries and drinking lapsang tea. Both are "me & JJ" things. Things JJ got me into, the tea bags are left overs from our holidays and BnJs the only ice cream I can face eating. Things are tough, I miss my boy, I have no idea where my paperwork is - it's meant to take three to five weeks to reach me, and the five week marker past by on Thursday. Plus they aren't replying to our enquiries. Term for July is definately stuck.

So, this all keeps making me think they are rethinking my application; or so many people are fleeing to the USA that there's an immense back log that no one knows about. Just confusing when we came finished the first phase under the average we're stuck in limbo. Limbo. Limbo. Limbo.

I often hide that i'm not scared about moving to others and sometimes to myself. Don't get me wrong i'm totally excited about being with JJ and living together and getting married and everything that is about us. It's the being eight hours minimum flight away from the UK, the feeling that when I open my mouth i'll be noticed as being totally different because I have an English accent, or just being known as the "english girl" then of just not knowing anyone. I'm not too hip on the sterotypes of English people - I just know I don't speak like the Queen, live in London or a castle. Just have a feeling I won't fit in at all.

All these worries will be totally irrelent if I can't even move. Then I worry about the mess i'm leaving behind, if I don't move I rip me and JJ apart which I can't, can't do. I can't walk away from what we have, but then moving and being an only kid means my parents being without me and what will that cause? I know they need to step back from my life but thats natural anyway, i'm 25 in September and i need to reclaim the independence I had when I was at university. Moving makes me feel so very selfish at times.

I try to escape into my job, even though I don't really like it, but I just try and get my head down and focus on that for the time being. But i'm swamped in collegue converstations about cheating husbands and affairs. I'm that invisble worker that just gets on with her work and doesn't say much. I dyed my hair a more reddy colour and noone mentioned or commented on it, a girl is leaving and I wasn't asked about going to a leaving drink. Maybe its' because i'm quiet, maybe i'm making my own suffering?