I ended up ranting about this mid way around a "posh" estate sale at the weekend to Joe - he has to hear all of my rants sadly. You see, I thought I was one of "that generations which, with the raise of social media and texting manners where going out of the window. That's what we were told to believe, us young folk that never opened doors for others or said please and thank you. Transplant that youth, being me into the USA and well, i'm just a huge bag of manners.
Granted estate sales are kind of similar to jumble sales in the fact that it's every man, or women for themselves. Elbows are sharped and if you see something you want you grab it out from under the nose of the next person. However, estate sales have increasingly made me realise the amount of MIDDLE AGED people in the USA that lack common courtesy. You stand aside in a door way, they just walk pass you, you hold a door open and they don't even acknowledge your presence with a smile. Apparently manners do cost over here.
This is how I always feel after estate sales - source
Maybe i'm too nice, I do hold doors open, I stand aside to let others past, I say please and thank you because I was raised that way and I think it's important. I want to raise my children to have manners too. There's too much rush and hassle in the world to not take the time out, interact and be pleasant to others. I know certain areas of the UK, say in London people aren't perceived as being as "friendly" as say the north but you do occasionally get a smile out of someone. Here in the US, or at least I should say south east Michigan as to not stereotype the whole of the country, a smile is a lucky find.
But then you get to the other extreme of customer service, an experience people always would consider to be lacking in the UK when it comes to shopping. America to me certainly does try and give you customer service but to the point were it's all over the top. I'm sorry but I know you're only saying "have a good day" because you have too and you sound like a robot saying it. Maybe everyone's faced with too much of the false greetings and thanks that people don't know how to say the real ones.
Do you think manners are a dying trend regardless of your country?
On a totes happier note - so looking forward to Thanks Giving and sticking up the olde Christmas tree this week - you totally can get away with putting your tree up in November in the USA and I love it!
Interesting post! I also find a lack of manners in more common in the UK now as well, I once fell over on some ice and not once person offered to help me up. I once fell up some stairs in a busy shopping mall - not one person helped! You see a trend here? Yes I fall over a lot! xx
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Manners cost nothing, how much effort does it take to hold a door for someone or be polite? I've never been to the US, but I have met quite a few Americans over here and I've always thought they were nice enough. I don't think I'd like the US customer service, it all seems a bit fake and OTT to me! Like in restaurants they're only being nice cos they rely on tips to make a decent wage! x
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure it's peculiar to America, I'm noticing more and more people where I live don't say thank you, and again it's 90% middle aged people. Young chavs will almost always say 'cheers' but hold a door open for someone in their 50s or older and often times they just walk through without a thank you or. Even a smile. Makes me so angry. Xx
ReplyDeleteI hate people without manners, a please and thank you go along way. I agree with you on holding the door open for people, it puts me on a downer when people just can't be polite.
ReplyDeleteHannah
x
www.daintyandivory.blogspot.com
You're not the only one who's noticed the lack of manners. One of the things about speaking Spanish it that there is the formal and informal you. I was always taught to address someone I didn't know in the formal you. I think that American English lacks this and that's one of the reasons people don't have manners.
ReplyDeleteAnother reason is that people who are (excuse the word) assholes are raising little entitled assholes and lose the etiquette that once was part of our society. My husband and I have seriously talked about enrolling our future children in private school because at least there you can hold the school directly responsible for what they do or don't learn.
I must say like you i feel i am far too nice when it comes to manners !
ReplyDeleteFar too many people are rude these days and its said all the time but manners really do cost nothing !
I also agree with the older people statement ! I think the older a person is that they tend to expect things rather than appreciate them.
Great post :)
Launa in Ponderland
Yes, Manners are a dying art and I hate it :( x
ReplyDeleteLoving all the responses everyone, glad to see i'm not the only one that's not only a fan of using manners but noticed that they are a dying art!
ReplyDeleteI am seeing this lack of manners happen more and more in the UK - I think it is as a result of the changing society. I have similar rants about people not saying thank you and often shout "you're welcome" lol.
ReplyDeleteI think please and thank-you are very important, I absolutely hate it when I do something for someone and they don't that thank me OR if someone asks for something without saying please. They aren't hard to say! I will be teaching my possible future children manners too, I have a 3 year old brother who knows he wont get anything without including a "please" in his request. Completely agree with your "rant" .. The door thing annoys me too. xx
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Putting your tree up in November is allowed over there? Nice :) Here in Scotland people are quite friendly, but it so frustrates me when I do something like hold a door open and the person just ignores me... I definitely feel like the person in that cartoon!
ReplyDeleteIt's a world wide problem, society is changing for the worse. I once had a middle age lady barge past me on some stairs and when I said "well excuse me wouldn't have gone a miss" I thought she was going to get a knife out she went so ballistic calling me the rude one.
ReplyDeleteIt's the same here particularly with the older generation. When I was on sticks it was the teenagers who always held doors open for me, the older folk were vile. x
ReplyDeleteI'm a bit late to the party here (I've had no time to read blogs lately) but my experience is that most people I encounter are polite. I've had waitresses remember my name and greet me when they're not my server that day, so in that case I know they're not just in it for a tip. ; ) Though you're right: there are always going to be those who don't have manners, or hold a door for you. Society in general seems to be heading that way. I have found individuals in other countries a bit more brisk, but then they have their own culture and mannerisms different to mine, so I shouldn't really compare or judge.
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