Friday, 4 September 2009

The One

In the lulls of daytime TV one of my watching delights that I will confess to, is watching The Wright Stuff on a morning on Channel 5 - its the only reason why I ever watch the channel. The show is often rather random, mixing up a skip through the morning papers, featuring debates regarding the most hard hitting, non reality based topics you could think of. Often there's something light-hearted topic about marriage, love or dating, and today one question was about "the one". Does everyone have a special person they are seeking to find and spend the rest of their life with? Do they even exist in the first place? How do you even know when the One has turned up and they are standing right in front of you? Or is it only when they are slipping away that something kicks in your head, the cogs turn and you realise just what you do have, that this is the person you willing to fight to keep?

According to the show - the statistics from which I'm remembering off the top of my head as a quick search upon google is being rather fruitless claimed (in whatever crazy sample this "research" used) that 2/3 of men, compared to 1 in 5 women, believed everyone has a One. A special person to spend forever with. But why is it that men are more believing?

I guess this is where we need to think about soul mates? Is there even such a thing? Google 'soul mates' or 'finding the one' and you'll get endless numbers of virtual pages about how to find, and how to keep that magical person. We probably perceive the One to be based upon a union based on love, but is there something more? Something deeper when the honeymoon period of any romance passes that creates the joining of two beings? Or in reality it is something more tangible? Of sharing the same personal and social backgrounds, interests and dreams? Is the one - your soul mate, the person you can see you at your worse? Who will see you moody and tired, who will stand by you good and the bad.

To a point I thought the plank might have been the one - well he was somewhere near close to imagining what the One would be like. I could be me, mad, random, laughing, I could talk about uni, life and whatever dreams I am. At the time he was the One, but now in retrospect he really wasn't - he diminished every thought I had about politics, about life and my views on things, I daydreamed too much and I didn't understand enough about sport. Furthermore he hated my love for old things. My heart was misleading me.

When you find your soul mate do you just know is it just the gut inert feeling that you get when you see, talk to or be with them? You start to feel safe, yourself and secure, most importantly you just know that they are there. I guess the key is to be open minded and patient and accept the people that come into your life - whether they come to be your soul mate or just as a friend to be the person that they are, not what you want them to be.

And I guess one day he'll tap me on my shoulder and I'll just know he's my soul mate and that I want him to stick around for forever.

1 comment:

  1. I know I'm going to sound old and cynical now (which I'm really not either of those things...) but I did find my soul mate; my Gene Kelly. I married him and had a child...THEN, he found another 'soul mate', even younger than me, had 2 more children and is all messed up! He really was my soul mate... for a while, and that's what I've concluded is what can happen. Why limit yourself to one soul mate (especially if they linger in a mid-life crisis upsetting everyone around!)We were never meant to be married long in the first place...I think we were meant to die at about 45 in the old days weren't we? Anyway, I've learnt, a rather hard way, that wonderful friends, and loves, just come in and out like the tides, and sometimes if you're lucky you'll pick up a fantastic piece of driftwood...and take it home.
    Sorry to leave such a long comment
    x Philippa