Wednesday, 10 September 2014

LIFE: Four Questions to Finding Some Self Love

Rachael

If there's one thing I've been trying work on daily in the last couple of weeks has been trying to cut myself some stack. After leaving university and moving back in with my overbearing parents (eh they probably meant well) topped off with moving to the US and standing out a little, my self confidence took a bit of a nose dive. 

Self love for me is a weird thing to get my head around. Having grown up with parents, family members, kids in school taking odd bits out of you those voices, those words, they became internalized, no matter how hard I tried to ignore them. Those words, emotions, well they still hold me back. Now I stand on the verge of turning 28, not having the confidence in myself is holding me so it's time I started addressing some of these problems and try some self love for a change.

So, after coming across Cystal's guest post on Hello Neverland regarding self love, I knew the questions she posed were the ones I had to ask myself.  

What about yourself makes you feel the most confident?
This is the question that I went back and forth for days trying to answer. Some days I would think it was the strength of moving countries - but then I would remember how anxious being an expat has also made me. Other days I would consider the fact I can go out, to estate sales, go to the post office or food shopping without make up on and not be bothered about it (or that it means I've lacked the confidence to make myself look good). Then perhaps it's because I manage to work for myself and make somewhat of a living from me.

What 3 things do you like about your personality?
Being quick witted (probably a better way of saying how I like being sarky) I can pull out a quick funny line without really thinking about it. Creativity with crafts, writing or photography, I can think outside the box and entertain myself for hours. Being curious by nature I want to know everything, I'm that person who always wants to know why, I'll research, I'll hunt out books, I want to know how things work or why they don't, why this happened, what that means.

What are two physical attitudes that you love and wouldn't change a thing about
My hair - it's thick, it still has some of it's natural curl, it takes well to hair dye, it's survived all the hair dye, and for all the stuff I don't do with it, it still looks healthy and well. Looking young for my age - it's a pain still being ID'd (especially as you tend to get ID'd if you look under 40 in the US) and while there's times I would love to look my age, or older, my skin is healthy, hopefully i'll still look young for my age in my 60's. 

What one skill that you've mastered enough to be able to teach it to some?
Ah hard to pick one - I'm self taught at crocheting and having cross stitched since I was 5 I could probably share that too. But come to think about it, probably how to make money from ebay. While it's a hobby for many, for me it's how I make my living so I know all the ins and outs of getting the most from those titles, images, listings. Sadly it's more than just sticking an item up for 99c with free shipping and hoping for the best when you factor in all the fees etc.  

"Too many people overvalue what they are not and undervalue what they are".
Malcolm S. Forbes 
How would you answer these questions? I'd love to hear.

24 comments:

  1. I'm bookmarking this post. At some point soon I need to come back and ask myself these questions and get my brain thinking nice thoughts. Love the honesty of posting them here too! x

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    1. Thank you - been sitting on the post a week or two trying to find the guts to publish it, I will be honest!

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  2. Bravery is being scared and doing it any way, moving across the world is a huge deal and you did that!!! Good luck with your self love journey! x

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    1. Thank you - still feels like a holiday or a dream living in the US which is still hard to get my head around at times.

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  3. Did you change the font on your blog? I swear it looks different today... lol

    Questions like these are so hard for me to answer. Physically I always say I like my eyes but when it comes to who I "am" it's harder....actually it's pretty depressing how much of a hard time I have answering stuff like "What do you like most about yourself." Ha. I really need to print these questions out and hopefully one day have a good answer to them :)

    Oh and that's great that you still get ID'd... I swear 15 year olds look older than me haha it's kinda annoying but hopefully when we get older we'll still look young :D

    Jessica
    the.pyreflies.org

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    1. Seriously the personality question, I was like errr - what personality or at least, what to say without it making me sound so big headed! Oh and i'm with you on kids looking older then me, I really don't look like i'm in my late 20's at all.

      And yes, i changed the font (again) the other day actually - good eyes for spotting!

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  4. I LOVE posts like these! So well thought out and put together, and just smile inducing :)
    It's hard to think of things I like and could teach...I am learning dressmaking but not well enough to teach, and the rest probably a mull over job, but a good thing to mull over :)

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    1. Oh I would love to be able to dress make but my sewing skills (at least sewing constructing) are rather lacking and I end up in such a mess. Must be a wonderful feeling to finish and wear a project you completed.

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  5. Really great post - and so useful for any stage of life. I'm hitting my late 30's soon and I have found, as I've got older, that self-loving comes easier and all the things that used to cause me stress, worry or nerves do not bother me so much, however, I think all women at various stages in life have that moment when you feel 'less than' - for whatever reason. Great read.Love the quote at the end too!

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    1. Thank you. I think your right, there's enough going on as you grow you that I do think you grow into your skin and become a lot more self accepting and through that, self love.

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  6. Lovely post and you've got to love a bit of sarcasm x

    http://helenamulhearn.blogspot.co.uk

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    1. Sarcasm is my answer to everything.

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  7. Eek! I think I'd struggle to answer these questions. I too have a bit of an issue with self confidence and the like. I'm continually insecure about myself and often think I'm not good enough. I guess it's something I should work on.

    Oh and just so you know - I think you're awesome ;)

    Debi x

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    1. Aww thank you :D

      Yeah I know what you mean about the insecurity - which actually links into the post I did about what I wanted to be when I was younger. I self doubted my way through school and so self doubted myself out of a lot of jobs I probably could have done!

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  8. Great questions to ask yourself! I think I might need to do the same at some point. Lovely post. X

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  9. My family made a living off of ebay for the longest time too! I look young for my age too and I am beginning to like the fact now I am getting older!

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    1. It's my excuse for not buying into anti age creams and remedies, my skins looking after itself lol.

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  10. People say that family means well, but it's all lies where my family is concerned. They never meant well, they just meant to dig and chip away at everything I do. Since pretty much ceasing any contact with them, must say my life and confidence is on the way back up. I only have contact with a few family members and even then they enjoy a good critique of my life... Why do people feel the need to even do that?!

    These questions are good, they are posed in a good way to make you think. I like that, it makes a change from the 10 things you like about yourself questions... which are good for a quick fix but confidence is a long term thing.

    Quick witted. I like that one :)
    I need a few more days to come up with answers! I'll think of something and let you know.

    Good for you for answering!

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    1. I have to admit, the whole ocean distance between me and family suits me well. Probably sounds harsh but yeah. I could never do right whether it was my friends, or judgement over their parents even, to my weight or what I did or didn't do. Sigh.

      I look forward to hearing your answers!

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  11. These are some great questions. The journey to self-love, I think, is a lifelong one...

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  12. Love this post - I agree with Melissa, we are all very much still on this journey.

    Lizzie's Daily Blog

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  13. Wonderful questions, deep soul searching answers.

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  14. Such a wonderful idea for a post. Sometimes I can big myself up and feel good, then the confidence comes crashing down and I feel worst. I'm going to save this post and use it as a writing prompt for me, thank you :):)

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