I guess you still have to smile

Peek-a-boo

Things have been a little [as I term it] 'bleh' lately even though I do try and hide my moods, and my emotional crazy feelings most of the time, sometimes it just escapes because they need an out pouring somewhere. For the majority of the time, the net and my blog is the place I escape too. Insteadof getting bogged down by my minds emotional chaos I mess around on here, I think up blogs, I read them, I think up ideas. My blog is often a way to keep my moods and my anxiety at bay, to somewhat push it to the side, maybe half the problem is that I don't face them head on - ever. I'm in bit of a stick my head in the sand kinda person. Sometimes I think posting this on my blog isn't the place to do it, sometimes it is, sometimes it isn't. Here I can hide behind a front and appearance of vintage finds, compacts, clothes, make up both real and virtual, but I guess sometimes even on here they have to be talked about and acknowledge - this is meant to be about being a twenty something after all.

My emotions have been a little confused since I was a teenager, tossed up between no idea what to do with my life, being messed around, never really fitting in, being shy; hormones and self harm I started on a path of being confused and somewhat 'lost'. University allowed me to find myself somewhat especially in a world of gigs but and now I just battle the anxiousness of my head, I get scared easily, I over worry, over think, I get stressed and I get down. I can be up and down emotionally within minutes. But that is just how my head is, that is just how it works - I always thought it was just the price to pay for being a little bit brainy [and i mean that in a very un-ego driven arrogant way].

But in even the bad, in the low times and when you feel there's no way or nowhere to turn a smile can can change a feeling. People don't tend to smile any more, in all honesty people just don't tend to be 'nice' to each other, they don't acknowledge, they don't say hello, they don't open doors especially not to a stranger. If a smile costs nothing to give - why do so few people give them out? Even a smile from a stranger could make someone's day, from personal experience even a strangers smile can make you feel visible and wanted in the world.

So be brave, hand out a smile.