Friday, 27 May 2011

A tale of a long distance relationship and trust

Once people realise or they find out i'm in an long distance relationship (UK to USA - if your new to this place) they always wonder or think it's weird how I can trust someone I can't physically be with for most of the year. Apparently merely saying "I just do" is too hard to believe. Or understand. 

Some people will never understand, or want to understand, and that's their prerogative. But and I'll borrow a line from my favourite band flyleaf "true love overcomes all fear". If what you have is real, true and is truly what [both] you want then you can trust. And it's not a trust that has to be naive or blind. A guy, or a girl for that matter can cheat whether you live in the same house or a million miles away from each other. If a persons intent on doing it, distance doesn't have to be a factor in the slightest.

But there isn't a magic point or key that will get you to that level of trust. Nothing magically occurred between me and Joe that got us to that level, it just came from us and what we have. I know and believe what we have is so magic that neither of us would ruin it. That trust has to come from inside you. Maybe to some extent it has to be gained too from both sides of the couple; but that, as in any other relationship comes with time. 

Personally I think if you've found a guy [or girl again - just to say i'm not being sexist]  that's more then certainly keen and bothered about being in a long distance relationship why would he then go and cheat? It wouldn't be worth their time or effort to keep up that presence.

But then again, what do I know? According to some, just a naive knowledge of love.
image taken from here


  1. My husband and I were long distance for a year when we first met.. Not as far as you and you and your beau are haha but still long distance.. And I think it actually strengthened our relationship because it really forced us to HAVE to communicate with each other.. Haha know what I mean?? You'll be reunited soon chica!!!

  2. That's so true Lisa! You HAVE to find the time and the opportunities and make the most of the time and chances you have. I think it's all to easy to dismiss the little things in the early days in any "normal" relationship but in long distance its just those little bits of time you can grab that come to mean everything x

  3. Even though I live with and see my boyfriend everyday, I totally understand what you are saying. I have been in relationships before that were not so free of suspicions...very stressful situation. Fully trusting the person that you are with is, to me, true love.

  4. Very true Blace - I'd hate being in a relationship full of justifying each and every move. Me and Joe are close, we tell each other everything but its in a relaxed open way. If you have that inbuilt level of trust together - whatever the "type" of relationship then its so much better.

  5. I think we've both just been blessed with someone whom we can trust fully. I wouldn't say long distance relationships are for everyone because it really takes two of like-minded person and with the same commitment to make it work! I just can't wait for both of our happy endings:)


  6. Amazing story, great words. x Z

  7. I was in a long distance relationship for about 1.5 years but it wasn't as far as you (London - Leeds). For the first 1.5 years we both lived in Derby but then I moved back to London and he moved to Leeds. Neither of us ever had an issue with trusting each other, yes we didn't see each other for weeks at a time but I never once thought he would be unfaithful. In the end we did break up cos the distance was hard and we feel out of love but we never stopped trusting each other. as you said if someone is going to cheat they'll do it, the distance just means their less likely to get caught!!

    Bow Dream Nation xx

  8. Very true Hannah - sometimes I think they then use the distance to justify their actions. If they get determined enough to get into something like cheating they'll go whatever lengths to keep it hidden regardless of where.

    Sher - it's good to know there's a fellow person out there going through the same thing as me, I can't wait to see your happy ending, you inspire me so much and you deserve it so much!

  9. Great post, Just got to have honesty and trust. Scarlett x

  10. I know it doesn't really compare but I live in Manchester and my boyfriend is away at uni in Liverpool. I find that the distance between us has made our relationship a lot stronger. And my friends who live in close proximity to their other halves are always arguing and unhappy.
    Absence really does make the heart grow stronger!